I'm doing all the things I always wanted to do but didn't have the time.
The things I always wanted to do but didn't have the time, the things which you can do almost alone at home when all the world around you has stopped and the sky is shut.
I'm quitting weed.
I know, it sounds like another of the self bestowed restrictions I spoke of earlier that I seem to throw around when things appear to be going less than ideal. But this is something that I've been thinking about a lot for a while.
I was lucky enough not to have started too early because it wasn't that normal where I was. I'd say that I had periods of consecutive years of occasional to daily abuse (serious word O.O) with, some breaks and in the recent couple of years, it had gotten thicker and thicker.
I don't really want to write how that happened and don't meant to elaborate how I feel about it to have happened. I don't see my self a victim of it more than I'm a victim of mortality.
I actually have a lot of good memories. At points, it makes you feel and think in spectacular ways. And the exact opposite kind of feelings and thoughts only come much later down the line. It's not the weed, it's the abuse (serious word O.O). I don't meant to write about the effects it has on your mind and the way it makes you experience life either. You either know and appreciate and have no need to read about my experience, or you know but refuse to put two and two together because you haven't yet had a bad enough trip to maybe look for other data than the kind that supports your Precious. (if you fall among the later, or suspect you might, your refusal it's not that you're stupid, it's because it'd be embarrassing and also would mean that there's a lot of work ahead of you. And work is so hard. Especially when you smoke a lot.)
The worst thing about it is that it's not that bad. It doesn't kill as much as the other ones, and it can be safely maintained as a habit for decades until dropped due to midlife crises or some such trauma. Some people apparently, don't really get the bad bits either.
It's not as bad as alcohol and alcohol is legal, right? And alcohol is legal because it's healthy enough, right? And that's how laws work, right? They are there to help you decide what to do with your life, and they are obviously flawed on this one because alcohol is bad, and therefore smoking weed, logically, is not bad for you. You fucking pothead.
I first heard this argument, in basic school. It keeps coming back. So yes, alcohol is not bad. Alcohol is great, that's why it stuck around for such a long time. Same with weed.
It's the abuse. Abuse in any form is bad. So, at what point does this word apply at you relationship with your pot?
Soda (fizzy drink) is really bad for you if it's all you ever drink. And you wouldn't call that abuse. You call that being an idiot or maybe having a limited choice.
I'd say abuse it becomes when you do it for the wrong reasons. Soda you drink when you're thirsty, or for it's taste. With soda, it's all about soda. You don't drink soda to make your chill more relaxed. You don't drink soda because you can do whatever you fucking want to it because you're the boss, or a man, or a bully of any other kind.
Abusing power to the point of bullying is worse than smoking to relax, obviously. It could be the other way around though:
Imagine a man, white, big and not terribly bright, terrorising the lights out of some soda in the privacy of his home. And imagine whoever you want, say a talking duck, eating some nice organic tomato to fall asleep better. Because they can't sleep without it.
The obvious points are: The soda hater is a weirdo and ducks don't talk or eat tomatoes (they do). Weed can make everything feel much better. Sleep, food, sex, it makes your imagination fly! But at the point when it's taken over, I call abuse. When you can't relax without it. When you have it before meals to enjoy them more. When you smoke it just so that you can get on with stuff.
It may not sound like it's unhealthy, you know you can just drop it and go for weeks before you think of it again if it's not around. But's it's taking your freedom away. It creates a debilitating constraint of your consciousnesses. And the longer you abuse it, the longer withdrawal period you are looking at the more cloudy your vision gets. The eminent thing become much more pressing than they are.
So, yea, it's not that bad. Been there, done that, and I'm off. You do what you want, I don't really care.
Why quit? because I can. Life is better without it. I never felt anxiety or depression before I first over done it. But at the same time, I conceived the most entertaining thoughts when I had it. So down with abuse. And once my brains cleared out I'll make my decision on the drug as a whole. They say months, I say, at least.
Covid isolation is the ideal time to get thorough the initial weeks of withdrawal without it affecting your life pursuits (job, relationships, projects) too much and you can do it clean, without any crutches along the way that might otherwise ensue in alternative bad habits.
It's not the only thing I'm doing though! But it has an effect on all of them. It always does.
Do or do not, there's no try.
Until trying it is the purpose of you doing obviously.
Try it if you want. It can be really great!
But don't fall for the view that it's mostly good or almost harmless. No matter how normal, the people smoking it around you, tell you it is (even your friends that you love for instance). No matter how many of them there is either. There's a generation out there of whom a large part smokes it like cigarettes. And they are fucked. And it's not their fault either, I blame babyboomers :D as one does.
Just remember, people are stupid and ten people are not any less stupid than one person. Crowd of people is dumber than a cow. That's a fact. It's been measured by top scientists in cern and nasa. The cow didn't fall for any lies and didn't follow wrong leaders. It ate a lot of grass, shat and got slaughtered.
What the crowd did you know, the experiment is still on. A lot of silliness ... It's good to be with the crowd, but don't be the crowd. (Especially near cliffs.)
